We got to matriarchy in the syllabus and patriarchy, and I said, you know, the whole idea of patriarchy and matriarchy portends something called ‘power.’ We might have had these women-centered homes, but it didn’t mean power. These women were not going out there cruising with some high powered jobs, making a whole lot of money, doing steak every night. So I came up with a term—you know teaching makes you do more work—and I came up with a term called diarchy. I said Black families were diarchal, most of them, in that you might have had a woman there, a mother there, but you had a grandmother, you had an uncle, you had some cousins in there. Diarchy happens when a family is under duress, under stress from a society.
That was important, so therefore if you move to diarchy, then you leave the whole arena that Moynihan is talking about matriarchy, talking about ‘these women are the cause for all the problems happening in the Black community,’ and you leave the arena with the men who say ‘well I wanna be a patriarch’ and I say ‘well dude you ain’t making enough money to be a patriarch,’ being facetious, but at the same time saying ‘you didn’t come up in a family like that; tell me about your family?’ Tell me about your family; how is your composition of your family? And everybody, most everybody, most of them had a diarchy; had nothing to do with a matriarchy or patriarchy.
Quote is from a video where she discussed a course on Black women that her students theorized into existence and she taught only a few years after the notoriously anti-Black, misogynoiristic, ahistorical Moynihan report came out (responsible for many straight up lies and stereotypes about Black motherhood and Black families post-Civil War, invoking arbitrary pathology for not mirroring White families, while leaving anti-Blackness and White supremacy blameless).
Here she dissects the false equalization made between matriarchy and patriarchy themselves, and as pertaining to Black families, something I wrote about in Black American Families Are Not “Matriarchal”. There I deconstructed the ahistorical mess of Moynihan and more. I cited Patricia Hill Collins, Angela Davis and bell hooks in that older essay, but damn I would’ve loved to have cited Sonia there.
Anyway, watch that short video! It’s wonderful hearing about how she engages in her classroom on difficult topics on gender, family and more with primarily Black students, especially during that first semester of this particular class back in ‘69.
"i am not at all physically attracted to you"
is an absolutely valid reason to not want to date someone.
People had the nerve to call me shallow for this.
By the way, it’s also totally cool to turn someone down without explaining your reasons. You are not interested, no will suffice. Do not feel pressured to explain your decisions to someone else.
[text] i am
[text] do you want to come over? I know it’s late, I can’t sleep.
[text] sure come over. I’m wide awake for whatever reason.
[text] I’ll be there in five. Just need to get dressed.
Dascha sat in the living room wearing a large shirt and shorts reading when there was a knock at the door. “Come in” she yelled knowing Severus had a key. She still didn’t understand why he needed to ask to come over.
Severus had literally rolled out of bed, pulled his shirt and pants on and made his way to her house. He knew he didn’t have to ask if he could go over, but he still did incase she had company or wasn’t home.
He let himself in and locked the door behind him. He kicked off his shoes and entered the living room, flopping down on thr couch beside her. “hello beautiful “
"Hello darling." she responded as she opened her arms to him. Severus melted against her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "What happened today?"
Cuddling up to her, Severus turned his head and kissed her stomach as he shrugged. “nothing interesting..
Oh…I had an exploding cauldron..that’s about it. How was your day?”
"Besides the dozen or so jurors coming to my ward for dark magic hexes my day was just peachy." she sighed. She loved working at St. Mungo’s but by Merlin there were days she wished she stayed in bed.
"sounds like we both had a shit day" he laughed and sat up, kissing the side of her neck. "can I stay tonight?" he asked softly as his lips trailed down her neck and across her throat.
"Of course you can stay." he kissed her favorite spot causing her to gasp and hold on to his head. "Severus, as we are two tall people and the couch isn’t that big shall we move to a more comfortable area?" She whimpered as he continued to kiss her.
"that sounds like a good idea" he nodded, kissing her again before taking her hand and leading her to the bedroom, his lips never leaving hers.
Dascha fell to the bed and moved up to the pillows letting Severus lay on top of her. He liked his weight even if her were getting a little pudgy. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and her legs around his hips. “Much more comfortable.” she whispered between kisses.
"definitely" he smirked, his lips trailing down her chin and her throat and up the side of her neck, nipping at her ear before moving to lay beside her.
Dascha rolled to her side facing him and continued kissing Severus as her legs entwined with his and his arms wrapped around her bringing her ever closer. “Everything seems so much better when you’re here.” She whispered as she kissed his chin.
Severus returned every one of her kisses, his fingers stroking over her back lightly. “I feel the same, I can only sleep if you’re with me”
Dascha wondered if she should ask now or later. They’d been together for a while now and it was coming upon a year and the back and forth was annoying at times. Kissing him deeply she pulled him closer then stopped to breath. “Severus?”
There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue. It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough. You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid. You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers. No one is flocking to you for advice. Then something wonderful happens. The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore. And that is something very important. Terrible at sports? You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST. No friends? You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star. It’s all about you. Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.
I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.
Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.